Hey friend,
I’ve been thinking about you, a lot. I’ve been wondering how you are, wishing you so much well-being, wanting you to know how appreciated you are. That I love you.
But every time I sat down to write to you, my thoughts got in the way of my feelings for you.
I’ve let thoughts like: will what I write be of value, is it informative, am I teaching something new, will it be inspiring or at least mildly entertaining? I’ve wanted so much to have something of high value to say to you, that I lost track of what really matters - my CONNECTION with you. Doh! Has that ever happened to you?
So, I’m back to what really matters. Love. Me LOVING you. YOU loving you. Us LOVING. Does anything feel better than when you are LOVING? I’m going to say no ;) And have you noticed that it doesn’t matter what or who you are loving? We are “hard-wired” to love. That’s who we are. We are loving beings and all we want to do is love. Love our mates, love our work, love our family, love our pets, love our home…. love love love. Nothing feels better than when we are letting our love flow. That’s what connection is about.
I have an important question for you: How good are you at loving? Others AND yourself. Are you loving yourself in the ways that truly make you feel loved? Coz if you’re not, then you aren’t being your best. You aren’t living your best life. You aren’t as resilient, as healthy and vibrant, as happy and as rich as you could be. Or, maybe your answer is yes, you’ve been pretty good at and it’s time to step up your game!
There is a fabulous book called The 5 Love Languages, in which the author, Dr Gary Chapman, describes 5 ways in which we like to express (give) and experience (receive) love. They are: Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Acts of Service, Physical Touch and Gifts. Understanding your primary love language and the primary love languages of the people that are important to you (partner, friends, friends, colleagues and team members) means that you can express your love and appreciation for the other person in a way they’ll FEEL it.
I remember reading this book many years ago and certain things clicking for me! My primary love languages are Quality Time and Words of Affirmation, and I was in a relationship with a guy whose primary love languages were Gifts and Physical Touch, who also had ADHD. You can imagine how that went ;) We weren’t aware of the Love Languages at the time, so we didn’t know why we weren’t feeling each other’s love, on a daily basis.
Knowing my primary love languages means I can also apply this to MYSELF. It gives me another level of understanding of myself, what helps me feel fulfilled and satisfied, and how I can ensure I nourish and love me.
There is a quiz you can do on their website here that will tell you what your primary love languages are. I also highly recommend that you read the book. Your time and money will be very well spent!
I am so happy we are connected, friend. I know your time and the thinking space in your mind is valuable and I appreciate you using some of it to read what I write. Big hug!
With love,
Jenny X
Photo cred: Me