There are 5 principles that I uphold that change every conversation I have. But these 5 principles aren't just for other Erickson trained Solution-Focused Transformation coaches like myself. They are for all human beings.
Want to know what they are?
1. Everyone has all the inner resources they need, to be, do and have what they want.
2. People make the best choice available to them in any given moment, with limitless possibilities.
3. Everyone is OK and they work perfectly to accomplishment.
4. Change is inevitable.
5. Behind every behaviour/emotion is a positive intention.
The one that gets questioned the most is no. 5. Especially when someone is demonstrating or feeling what we deem as a "negative" behaviour or emotion.
Add genuine curiousity to the whole mix. For eg. be curious and simply question..."I wonder what might be the positive intention behind this feeling of irritation I have right now?" or "I wonder what might be the positive intention behind choosing to watch TV instead of working on my launch?"
Believing these 5 principles, upholding them, embodying them; changes everything. For me and the other person.
I invite you to put these on, like a pair of glasses, and see for yourself.
If you're a parent, remember these (esp. no.5) next time you go to scold your kid. If you're in a relationship, put these 5P glasses on next time you're upset at something your partner has done. And… most of all, remember to look at yourself through this lens too! They can transform any situation.
If you do try them out, (always your choice) let me know how it goes. I'd love to hear your story and in you telling it, you reinforce and integrate this way of thinking and seeing into your life.
with love,
Jenny XO